Limerick 1
There was an old person of Fratton
Who would go to church with his hat on.
"If I wake up", he said,
"With my hat on my head,
I shall know that it hasn't been sat on".
Limerick 2
There was a young man of Devizes,
Whose ears were of different sizes.
One was so small,
It was no use at all,
But the other won several prizes.
Limerick 3
There was a Young Lady of Niger
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger.
They returned from the ride
With the lady inside
And a smile on the face of the tiger.
Одна хохотушка-девица
Любила кататься на львице.
Признаться вам честно-
Девица исчезла,
Зато улыбается львица.
Limerick 4
There was an old man with a beard,
Who said:"It is just as I feared!
Two owls and a hen,
Four larks and a wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard."
Limerick 5
There was a great man of Japan,
Whose name on a Tuesday began;
It lasted through Sunday
Till midnight on Monday
And sounded like stones in a can.
Limerick 6
There was an Old Man of Peru
Who dreamt he was eating his shoe.
He awoke in the night
In a terrible fright
And found it was perfectly true.
Однажды увидел чудак
Во сне, что он ест свой башмак.
Он вмиг пробудился
И убедился,
Что это действительно так.
Limerick 7
There was a Young Lady of Portugal,
Whose ideas were excessively nautical:
She climbed up a tree,
To examine the sea,
But declared she would never leave Portugal.
Limerick 8
There was an Old Man who said,"Well!
will nobody answer this bell?
I have pulled day and night,
Till my hair has grown white,
But nobody answers this bell!"
Limerick 9
There was an Old Lady of Chertsey,
Who made a remarkable curtsey;
She twirled round and round,
Till she sunk underground,
Which distressed all the people of Chertsey.
Limerick 10
There was an Old Person of Burton,
Whose answers were rather uncertain;
When they said,"How d'ye do?"
He replied,"Who are you?"
That distressing Old Person of Burton.
Limerick 11
There was an Old Man with a nose,
Who said, "If you choose to suppose
That my nose is too long,
You are certainly wrong!"
That remarkable Man with a nose.
Limerick 12
There was an Old Man in a tree,
Who was horribly bored by a Bee;
When they said, "Does it buzz?"
He replied, "Yes, it does!
It's an irregular brute of a Bee!"
Limerick 13
There was a Young Lady whose chin
Resembled a point of a pin;
So she had it made sharp
And purchased a harp,
And played several tunes with her chin.
Limerick 14
There was an Old Person of Spain
Who hated all trouble and pain;
So he sat on a chair
With his feet in the air,
That umbrageous Old Person of Spain.
Limerick 15
Said the fair-haired Rebecca of Clondike,
"Of you I'm exceedingly fond, Ike.
To prove I adore you,
I'll dye, darling, for you,
And be a Brunette, not a blond, Ike."
Limerick 16
There was an Old Man on the Rhine,
Who was asked at what hour he'd dine.
He replied, "At eleven,
Four, six, three and seven
Not to mention a quarter to nine."
Limerick 17
There once was a student named Bessor
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser;
It at last grew so small,
He knew nothing at all,
And today he's a college professor.
Limerick 18
There was an Old Man on a hill
Who seldom if ever stood still,
He ran up and down
In his grandmother's gown
Which adorned that Old Man on a hill.
Limerick 19
There was a Young Lady whose nose
Was so long that it reached to her toes;
So she hired an Old Lady
Whose conduct was steady
To carry that wonderful nose.
Limerick 20
There once was a Young Man of Bengal
Who was asked to a Fancy Dress Ball;
He murmured, "I'll risk it
And go as a biscuit!"
But the dog ate him up in the hall.